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glm
[info]glm
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glm
[info]glm
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Not like that you perverts.

One of the trippiest jugglers I have ever seen:



glm
[info]glm
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In discussion with NS last night, we came across something weird in our use of the English language.

Why do we say "Have sex"? Grammatically, this implies that a)Sex is an object and b)It is something that can be possessed. Why is the phrase not "Do sex"? Think about what you are saying next time you approach a stranger on the bus and say "Let's have sex". Odd, huh?

Why do we say "Make Love"? Grammatically, this implies that a)Love is and object and b)It is created by the act of fornication.

Just random musings about this weird language we all know and love. 
shanmonster
[info]shanmonster
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I go to the dentist tomorrow to get a tooth deconstructed and reconstructed. Share in my joyous anticipation. I just might fall asleep while the dentist is drilling away. I have seriously become so used to having dental work done, that I do nod off while my teeth are being drilled. That disturbs me somewhat.

Yesterday, I went to Toronto. I had lunch with my buddy Brad, then went and purchased an introductory Latin text and studied it for a couple of hours before going to Starbucks and trying out some independent verb conjugations. In particular, I was conjugating irrumabo and pedacabo out loud in Starbucks.

Latin is often a filthy language. I just like that I can speak the most obscene things loudly in a public setting and appear studious and academic, and not the raging dorky pervert that I was actually being.

Then, later that night, I sat in a room with a dozen or so people who were busily knob bobbing on silicon dongs.

Today, I conjugated periti and pepedi. I've been practicing my classical Latin pronunciation. I need a lot of work. I still sound like I'm speaking with a terrible Italian accent.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Coin-Operated Boy

bunny_babe
[info]bunny_babe
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  • 13:02 @MsNatx I envy your beddedness. @AuguryMetal and @TheAmenta, thanks for being awesome houseguests, come back any time (for pan-cahks)! ;) #
  • 15:04 @JessiKaViolet Don't forget to play play play! *chuckle* #
  • 15:30 Women make better traders because we’re less personally emotional about the markets. That feels… ironic somehow. #
  • 16:10 Over-caffeinated. Cold-calling. I feel like gnawing off my own face. #
dwell
[info]lj_maintenance
[info]dwell
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On Saturday the 14th at 4AM UTC/GMT we will be upgrading the operating system of our network load balancers to a newer version, one that will allow us to use both CPUs! Nifty, because multiprocessing is nice.

Since we have 2 load balancers, the plan is to upgrade 1 at a time, and there really should be very little impact to our website. Hopefully you won't notice a thing and I'll get to go back to the hotel and watch some wonderful late night infomercials.

We've got a lot of exciting projects coming up for 2010 and we're hoping that we'll be able to deliver them all to you, that you will find it useful/cool/lovely and then you will use the site even more. Behind-the-scenes work like this will give us the capacity to handle the anticipated traffic, so expect a few more maintenance windows especially in the beginning of next year as we've got some neat ideas to improve performance around here! We had the recent 30-45 minute outage yesterday due to one of our logging databases filling up disk space -- not so great design coupled with my human error in handling the initial problem -- and it looks like we're going to finally have some resources to eliminate stuff like that. I can't wait!

As usual, I will be updating status.livejournal.org before and after, just in case you are not able to reach our main website during the work.
shanmonster
[info]shanmonster
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It's been too long since I've cleared my burgeoning tabs. Here goes.....

WTF Belgian TV Show: NSFW, I guess. Surreal, and I have to wonder who this was marketed for (thanks, [info]gha5t).

Rear Gear: Accessorize your pet and remove brown eye.

Fellatio by Fruit Bats Prolongs Copulation Time: I wonder if this is being considered for an igNobel award (thanks, [info]tdr).

Meat Hand: Amazing meat loaf! I want this!

Bees that Drink Human Tears: I'm not afraid of bees, per se, but this would likely send me into conniptions (thanks, [info]elanya).

PhotoSketch: Make the Internet Create Photos for You : Very, very interesting. Makes the cries of "Shopped!" ring all the louder, I suppose.

Girl, 11, weds and gives birth on same day: She's excited to have "a new toy".

World's smallest mother to risk giving birth for third time: She really does look like an anthropomorphic beach ball.

Fear of Girls: Always worth another watch. Love it (thanks, Sabir)!

Lady Gaga: Bad Romance: I started off not liking her, and now I have a non-grudging admiration for her work. This video is excellent (thanks, [info]elanya).

Cell Size and Scale: Coffee beans are big (thanks, [info]f00dave).

Great White nearly bit in half by an even BIGGER monster: Swimmers stay out of the water after warning over giant 20ft shark: With what may be the MOST AMAZING SHARK PHOTO EVER!

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Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

shanmonster
[info]shanmonster
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(I wrote this over a decade ago, and think it's worth dusting off for today.)

My nextdoor neighbour for years was an elderly man named Guy. He was a World War Two veteran and an amazing sharpshooter full of numerous fascinating tales. Sometimes I would go outside after school and watch him doing target practice.

He really was amazing with his gun. He could hit the bullseye every time on a target I couldn't even see. One day, he missed his shot by half an inch, and he became very angry. He knew someone had been messing with his scope, and sure enough, one of his sons had used his rifle earlier that week.

As we lived deep within the forest, Guy's sharpshooting was a very useful skill. Every autumn, he would bag a deer to feed his family. He usually gifted us with a little bit of his venison. During the Depression, he used to hunt for all the local families and would bring home many deer, moose, bears, and rabbits. Game wardens turned a blind eye to his activities. He may very well have been feeding some of their families. He also used his gun to protect the people and their livestock.

Normally, the many bears which haunted the area kept to themselves. However, every now and then, one would begin stalking our horses.

Guy owned a vast amount of pasture, and he let us keep our horses there in the summer months. One day, the horses came galloping around the corner in mortal fear. Their eyes rolled in their heads, and their nostrils flared out to the size of pancakes. Something was after them.

Moments later, a single shot rang out.

From approximately one-half mile away, Guy had shot a running bear through the heart. It was an instant kill.

At some point during his travails in wartorn tropical countries, Guy had contracted malaria and become an alcoholic. Although he eventually kicked the booze habit, his past maladies, along with a heart condition and a penchant for chain-smoking and tobacco-chewing, had given him a worn-down look. Gin blossoms bloomed on his nose, his lips and teeth were stained black, his fingers were yellowed with nicotine, and great, phlegmy coughs constantly racked his frame. But he could sure spin a mean story....

I would often visit him after school and listen as he regaled whoever might be there with amazing war stories. Once, he noticed I was reading Farley Mowat's Owls in the Family, and he told me he'd served briefly with Mowat. He didn't have much to say about him, only that Mowat hadn't really been in the hotspots Guy had fought in.

Guy's favourite anecdote dealt with being trapped in a thinly-wooded coppice with other Allied troops. They had taken what cover they could, but seven or eight German planes were cutting them down with machine gun fire. He was certain they would all die, for they had nowhere else to go.

But then he heard a wonderful sound. It was the tacka-tacking engines of three Spitfires. They zoomed in and engaged in a dogfight, taking down every one of the enemy planes, saving the lives of all the ground troops. As they flew away, they dipped their wings in salute.

From that day on, Guy developed a fascination with Spitfire planes, and would hush everyone whenever one appeared on his constantly-blaring television.

Not all of Guy's stories had happy endings, though. Guy had also been involved in trench warfare, and, when he waxed maudlin, would lament his horrific experiences. When Guy was like this, any adults in the house shooed me away. These stories were too gory for a little girl to hear.

But I did hear one of these stories. Once, Guy and his fellow troops were under heavy artillery. The air was almost imperforate with bullets and mortar fire. Guy was terrified, but needed to cross a road. He made a break for it at the same time as another soldier. As they tore across the road, Guy glanced over his shoulder and noticed the soldier running beside him had no head. The soldier made it all the way across the road before collapsing into a trench.

Guy's voice shook as he told this story, and I didn't argue when I was ushered out of the house to play. The gory images of his story haunted me for days. Although I would still play wargames with other kids, I decided war was a terrible thing. John Wayne war movies no longer seemed terribly realistic, and the soldier's life no longer seemed so glamourous.

Of course, these feelings neatly reconciled with Jehovah's Witness theology. According to what I learned at the Kingdom Hall, war was evil and borne of Satan. I was wont to agree. Still, I felt awkward for not wearing a poppy around Remembrance Day. If nothing else, I thought it was good to remember the hell these people went through in order that it may never be repeated.

In 1989, Guy's chain-smoking wife Christine developed lung cancer. Neither of them quit smoking. They were both hardcore nicotine addicts. Christine's condition worsened, and she died that winter.

Guy became a very lonely man, and my father spent more and more time with him. They would sometimes go to wrestling events or watch old war movies together.

Nevertheless, about three months later, Guy died of a heart attack. Rumour has it he died of a broken heart, and I suppose that's quite possible. He certainly wasn't the same after his wife died.

Now, around Remembrance Day, I buy myself a cheesy little plastic poppy. And I remember.

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Current Music: Lady Gaga - Fancy Pants

rev_fester
[info]rev_fester
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In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
rob_t_firefly
[info]omg_too_soon
[info]rob_t_firefly
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schwartzung
Name: schwartzung
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